Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Ring

Dad knew I had done it.

Sister knew I had done it.

Cousins knew I had done it.

Everybody knew I done it, there was just one person that didn’t, and that person was my mom.

One of the most special thing for my mom is her weeding ring, she will NEVER, literally, NEVER take it off but this time she had to since we were going to make a cake. I remember where she left it – in top of the living room table hanging on the little naked guy statue hands – I only wanted to put it on to know, to feel why was it so special!

I got the ring and put it on my finger, started walking like if I was a supermodel with the ring on, but that’s when it happened the ring fell on the wooden floor and rolled, rolled, nonstopping.

I don’t know if it was because I was shocked but I didn’t move… well I couldn’t move actually, it felt like a blackout.

The ring went through my open door and just like magic it was gone… I could find it, I looked for it for hours.

I went nervously and told my dad what happened, he told my sister, she told my cousins, they told my aunts, my aunts told my uncles, my uncles told my grandma, my grandma told my grandpa, my grandpa told my mom… My mom came running like crazy! She told me that if I didn’t know what that ring meant to me (obviously I did, but she always say random stuff when shes mad.) After all the screaming in the hallway was over, I lift up my feet and there it was. The ring.

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Sunday, August 29, 2010

I watch T.V

because it makes me feel

like if I was in a different world.

like if all my problems disappeared.

That’s what all people

Who have nothing else to do, do.

But for me its different,

I watch TV not to

laugh,

get smarter,

learn something.

No. I watch TV because

it makes me feel different.

because it feels like the people inside

are perfect.

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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Suspects Point of View

It was dark, really dark; it was my first night, the first night of many long ones.

I opened the door and walked into the house gingerly just like a mice walking on the wooden floor.

I looked at the man everyday at midnight for 7 days only because his eye wasn’t open.

My waiting wasn’t done in a cursory way, instead I did it the caution less I could but even if I was the quietest thing on earth I still woke the old man up, I could surmise he woke up with a grimace on his face.

After an hour or more of waiting in the perfect floor without abrasions, finally I decided to continue, I got into the room the fastest I could so it wouldn’t be late by the time I was done.

My endeavor was to kill the old man and I did it, I didn’t do it because of the inventory of gold I did it because of his eye. When I thought everything was over the cops came, since the neighbors heard a squeak they corroborate and decided to call the cops who thought there was something worn at the house.

I tried to simulate as if everything was ok, once at the old man’s room, the gruesome sound of his beating heart made me nervous, the cops knew they knew I had killed him or at least that’s what I thought. Clad on sweat I succumbed told the cops the true, the true of everything, this electrified the cops but now it was over, everything was over.

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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

My Only One

I confess that,
every time. Every time,
He looks at me my heart still jumps a little.
He smiles my heart still jumps a little.
He talks my heart still jumps a little.
I confess that,
I may still love him.
I may still want him to love me.
I may still miss him.
I confess that,
Even if I still say no, I know I want to say yes.
Even if I have another guy, he would always be my only one.
Even if he has forgotten me... I still haven't forgotten him.


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Monday, August 23, 2010

Panama

Panama, in many many reason it has changed me.
My friends from Mexico tell me i became a 'gringa' and that I'm not like before... which i don't really remember how I was before.
My friends from Texas tell me that i became a 'panamanian' that I replaced them for the panamanians, that i don't like them anymore and stuff like that.
When my parents told me we were going to move to Panama the first thing that came to my mind was 'Where is Panama' and pretty much thought of it as a desert island... ignorant huh? well I told all my friends from Texas that I would never forget them and that they would always be my best friends forever! obviously it wasn't true; even if you don't want to change, you will change. physical or mentally.
When I met the 'guy' in 7th grade he became my boyfriend, thats when everything started, I started ignoring calls from my Texans friends just to talk to the Panamanian friends, it was like a war between both of the groups... The time passed and i received more Panamanian calls than Texans, until the day were no more Texas calls came, only Panamanians, now in this summer i went to Texas, thats when all of them attacked me bunch of them calling me names 'kidding' but i obviously knew they were serious. I wasn't going to insult them back since I'm not that kind of person but yeah I have to admit that I did replaced them, and that I do prefer Panama than Texas.

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Thursday, August 12, 2010

This Year I Hope I'm a Better Person to the People I Love,

She's gone.
It's been only five moths but it feels like years,
I'm sorry for being so mean,
I'm sorry for not listening to you,
I'm sorry for being a bad cousin,

I miss the way she used to ask me
"are you going to miss me?"
and I would say no.
but now I regret it,
I wish I could go back and tell you
Yes I'm going to miss you more than
anyone in the world.
This year I hope I'm a better person to the people I love,

I remember her smile,
I remember her laugh,
I remember her jokes,
I remember the look in her eyes,
but after some weeks I won't
and now I'm afraid.

I feel sick she'll say
It's nothing
weeks later the doctor told us
she had cancer.

You'll survive I said,
I'm not.
Yes you will,
I'm going to miss you
Go to sleep.
This year I hope I'm a better person to the people I love,

I miss you, Alexa.