It's Unfair

It’s unfair that one of my teachers over exaggerated about the whole substitute thing, I mean just because a list has a name on it, it doesn’t mean we were “disrespectful, loud, or distracting” since that’s what she told my dad in the email.

I personally asked her to show me the list – it was a post it. Nice list. –nowhere on the list did it say that we were loud or disrespectful. Maybe she’s upset because a lot of people were on “the list” but screaming at us was NOT OK.

She arrived yesterday and acted as if we were the worst people alive. She screamed at us like if we were in jail, well this didn’t happen to me (by this I mean the thing I’m about to tell you) well she called this girl to go outside of the classroom, and screamed at her worst than her mom would scream to her; then she sent her to the office, also she told another girl “You disgust me” In my own opinion I believe that’s not fair.

If she thinks it’s so bad to talk when there is a substitute here, then why did she leave?

This may not change anything, but I bet many of you agree with me. I’m honestly mad right now, not because she emailed my parents or because I have detention, but because of the way she reacted. We are kids. Kids laugh, kids scream, kids talk. Its normal.

Dear Mom,

I know I'm disrespectful,

I know I'm not the best of all,

I know I scream at you,

but I want that to end,

I want everything to be like before

I want you to tell me you love me,

I don't want to be grounded all the time.

I love you,

You love me,

why cant things be like before?

like when I was 7

like when you didn't scream because of everything,

like when I told you, you were the best mom EVERYDAY

like when we played together.

I want those times back,

I wanna be 7 again

I wanna hug you and whisper I love you

without feeling hate.

I miss the old times... and I hope you do too.

Mom.

Marlon

Ok, so there's this little boy named Marlon (I'm not sure I spelled it right...) who apparently is in 5th grade and I honestly didn't had an idea that he existed until today.

Well you know how now we have to leave our backpacks in the lunch room but while we are putting our stuff there, the 5th graders are in lunch? Well I was with Ana Carolina and I told her that I was hungry, and I guess Marlon heard me since he came and told me if I wanted some fruit and he actually gave me a lot... he gave me a whole bag full of grapes and this kind of apple -- which wasn't so good... That's why I gave it to Laura-- I said thank you and left. Now you may think, well she obviously screamed that she was hungry so somebody would hear her, believe me I wasn't, I was actually talking really low... Almost whispering that's why its kinda creepy that he heard me but anyways back to the point.

After he gave me the fruit I left to P.E and everything went normal until the day ended, I had to stay to journalism but as always I first went to Pan y Canela, since I'm super hungry by that time, I went by the back door (the door that we use to go out when we go to P.E) and as most of you know, that door has two doors and only one of them opens; so I stepped outside the door and heard this little kid saying 'hey! hey! here here this is for you' at first I thought it was some paper that I accidently dropped until I saw stickers on it... Yeah it was kinda of a love letter from the little kid. I just wanted to share this funny story to you guys... I guess my little friend Marlon has a crush on me...

Yeah the picture its his love letter.

I'm In Love

He's a 9th grader, he's new at school, he's sweet, he's cute, he's the kind of boy everybody wishes for. He is perfect.

I met him at a party, not long ago, it was a stupid, special, way of meeting someone. Danelia (my best friend) was going to take a picture with him with my camera - since she never takes hers to parties - she knew him already since they go in the same bus, she asked me to take the picture of both of them together, I did, but even though I didn't knew him I asked him to take a picture with me, we took a picture together, then sat and talked and talked for minutes and minutes... He told me to add him on facebook, I did, we started talking more and more every day, 24/7 non stopping. We wouldn't run out of topics or anything we would just keep talking and talking through skype, facebook or bbm.

One day he told me he had to tell me something. He liked me. I guess I wasn't ready for something like that since I didn't believe him, we went out to the movies and things like that. I started to like him and everything started making sense, maybe we could have something. Maybe.

Until one day someone made me think, made me think about things like, you barely know him, you only talk to him through facebook, he's older than you, how can you be so sure he likes you... and I started to doubt.

It came the day that I decided to tell him everything should stay as it was before, only friends.

Big mistake. I regret it as fast as i thought about it. I got jealous for every small thing that he did, I got mad for every little thing he said to others even thought I wouldn't show or say anything most people knew I still felt something for him.

He asked all my friends, even my sister for me to get back with him, we talked but not like before and I was starting to miss it...

Now we are starting something again, something special, something that I hope it would last.

I must confess that I'm in love.

Grounded 100 Times

I've been grounded more than 100 times (no exaggerating) but 99.9% of those times are because of talking back at my mom or being mean to her.

Most of the times I was grounded for only one week maximum two, but this time was different. I had crossed the line. I practically kicked her out of my room, I asked her I said why did she always have to be in my room. I said that I didn't want her there...

She cried, I know.

I cried, she knows.

Now I'm grounded for 3 weeks, no cellphone and I can't go out with my friends - believe me, that's the worst thing they could do for me - and I regret talking bad to my mom. I learned I shouldn't talk to my mom like that and I won't do it anymore.

Alone

Your eyes are a sunset,

Mine are the night.

Your hair is a straight, blonde, beautiful one,

Mine is a curly, brown, hideous one.

You have him

The guy that used to be mine

The guy that everyone likes

The guy that left me.

You have them

The friends that used to be mine

The friends that everybody wishes for

The friends that left me.

You have her

The best friend that used to be mine,

The best friend that was only mine

The best friend that left me

You have everyone

I wish I was like you

I wish I was you.

You are a star.

You are the day.

You are perfect.

I am the moon.

I am the night.

I am imperfect.

Now my hope is gone

And I’m left here

Alone.

Dear You

Alexa Ceja

123 Coolest Lane

Panama, Panamá

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Dear You,

I hope your fine over there in Texas, and I hope that you’ve found someone else that that loves you as much as I did, since by now you have probably erased me from your mind, from your memories, from your heart.

I remember we used to talk everyday but people said it was only a summer love and I actually believed it was something else, something real. I loved your sunny disposition, I loved your spontaneous ideas, and I loved the way you used to talk to me. Do you remember our first date? It was pivotal event for me, you said it was important to you too, but I’m starting to think you just used me. Yesterday I received a anonymous letter, I really thought it was going to be yours… today I found it wasn’t. I guess everything is over for us.

I hope you receive this letter and I hope you and me make up or at least talk to each other like we used to… It is imperative that you reply to this letter since it’s been a long time since we don’t talk, and I’m going to be honest… I’m starting to miss you.

Six Things You Didn't Know About Alexa

This may not be important to you but if you are curious about some things about me, here's a list. By the way I recommend you to write it in this way, it's so easier!

1. I bite my nails, ugly habit. I know, I've done it since I was small really really small I should admit, now I'm trying to stop.

2. I'm bad at jokes, this will probably be the first and last time you hear this from me since I LOVE telling jokes... I'm just not good at doing it.

3. I cry really easily, you may not believe this but I actually do, the smallest things are the ones that make me cry the most.

4. My two favorite things in the world are eating and sleeping, and if you and me text frequently you can see I sleep A LOT there are some days I don't wake up for anything else than to eat and take a shower also if you see me in lunch you can notice that I eat more than a cow, seriously.

5. This may sound weird or random, but I've always imagined myself fat when I grow up, I imagine that when I get to senior year I'm going to be kinda of a fat person.

6. I'm in love with a guy, who is one and a half years older than me, I'm in love with a guy that any girl would wish for, I'm in love with a guy that may not be the right one...

Valentine's Day

It was valentine’s day… let’s say it wasn’t the best day for me, but it was for my friends.

Just so you get an idea of why I hated Valentine’s Day let me tell you that ALL my friends had boyfriends by that time except me.

When I got to school, the student council people were selling flowers, balloons, cards… everything you can imagine with red, pink and white. Obviously my friends did not buy anything, their boyfriends bought things for them, I didn’t hate the fact that they all had boyfriends; I hated the fact that I didn’t.

It was the longest day in my life, every five minutes somebody came inside to the classroom giving out flower or cards from their friends, or boyfriends. None for me.

Lunch passed and all my friends were talking and talking about how sweet their boyfriends were, and when they asked me if somebody send me something I had to say no.

It was my D period, math class at exactly 1:36, I remember. This small red headed girl came in giving out more flowers but this time it was different.

“Paola, here’s your flower from David. Happy valentine’s day…Daniela, here’s your flowers from Ricky. Happy valentine’s day… and I think that’s all… oh wait, Alexa! Here’s your flowers from anonymous. Happy valentine’s day.”

I felt like a little, ok a big, BOOM inside my body.
I read the card over and over, it had only four words but every word made me feel like I was special. The day passed and I kept receiving flowers, cards and stuffed animals, all from this secret admirer. When the day was over I was dying to know who was my secret admirer, I tried to stay a bit more time in my locker just to see if somebody came up to me and tell me something like hey I’m your secret admirer, it didn’t happen. I went walking towards the buses with my friends, my iPod on, and my eyes looking at my feet, I kept walking and walking, ignoring what my friends where telling me, ignoring what was happening around me, then I bumped to somebody. Jaime, the new guy in the city; the one everybody liked.

“I’m sorry Jaime, I didn’t see you there”

“It’s ok… I wanted to talk to you”

“To me? About what?”

We stopped walking, just looking at each other waiting for his small lips to open and say something else.

“Well, did you like my flowers?”

“Flowers? I think I didn’t got them”

“Oh really? Who gave you the ones in your hand”

“My secret admirer, funny right? I guess he doesn’t want me to know who he is…”

“Why do you think that?”

“I waited for him in the lockers and he wasn’t there, whatever, its not like I want to know anyways”

“Oh well, guess what?”

“What?”

“It’s me...”

I looked at his eyes, and the whistle was blown, the one that indicates that by that time everybody should be in the bus, I just ran away, not saying a word.

I learned that I shouldn’t be jealous of my friends, and I should also be patient.